33 Reasons Why Humanity Is Doomed

Because we can’t rember anything:
Because teens:
Because this is considered “breaking news”:
Because of questions like this:
And people like this:
Also this:
Because of brilliant ideas like this:
And this:
Because of comments like this:
Because of terrifying things like this:
Because of students like this:
Because of history majors like this:
Because of book connoisseurs like this:
Because Ashley:
And Josh:
Because are there birds in Canada?:
Because some people have no ideas how birthdays work:
Because no one can figure out milk anymore:
Because our only police officer is this guy:
Because of people who think that’s what the 4th of July is about:
Because of activists like this:
Because of studies like this:
Because of Norwegian teens:
Seriously what is up with Norwegian teens?
Because this kid will run for office some day:
 Because no:
Because this is the greatest threat facing our nation:
Because of Barraco Barner:
Because of observations like this:
Because of urgent scientific questions like this:

Because are you kidding me?

Because of mind-blowing discoveries like this:
And lastly: