GIF I’m putting this upfront: DON’T DO THIS. You’ll find out what “this” is soon enough, but the author of today’s revenge tale adm...
I’m putting this upfront:
DON’T DO THIS.
You’ll find out what “this” is soon enough, but the author of today’s revenge tale admitted in an addendum that this story of revenge was long enough ago that statute of limitations has passed, and when you have to admit something like that, chances are you shouldn’t replicate it.
But that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the story:
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So this was quite a few years ago. One day my kids were skating in a quarter pipe, when this truck comes around the corner with a bubba driving, and he sees my daughter come off the quarter pipe and instead of slowing down he floors it and rips past my house still accelerating while yelling something about keep out of the road fuckers. I yelled also ‘Slow Down’
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The following weekend I’m out mowing my lawn and I see this guy coming so I walk out to the edge and try to wave him down to talk, and bubba floors it again laughing like a maniac as he goes flying by with his engine redlining. This guy is a nut.
So I go to the hardware store and picked up three of those 3 foot orange safety cones, and I put a sign on each one of them, slow down, residential neighborhood, kids at play.
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A few days later I come outside and find the cones have been run over. I already know who done it. I’m pretty pissed off. Like really angry. And in that anger I came up with my most brilliant plan.
I went to the hardware store and purchased 3 new cones, along with cement and steel rebar. I filled those fuckers with rebar and cement and let them set.
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After the cones were ready I put them back out in the side of the street by my house with the same three signs as before. It didn’t take long. Two days later I’m in my garage tinkering and I hear that damn truck engine revving up as the Bubba goes pedal to the metal. I look up just in time to see his truck steer towards the shoulder to run over the cones.
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Damn it was a beautiful sight like none I’ve ever seen before.
He hit the first cone with his bumper and the cone fell forward and rotated the base up towards his engine block and actually lifted the front of his truck upwards, as his front passenger wheel made a direct connection with the second cone and launched his truck up even higher in the air. The third cone also made a direct hit on his right tire suspension as his truck came down to a screeching halt. There were fluids running out from under his truck and his passenger tire was angled inwards at a 90 degree angle.
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Bubba was pissed off and started screaming about how I wrecked his truck and how I’m gonna pay. I yelled back and said well then let’s call the cops and get them out here to make a report and you can tell them how you were racing down to road and intentionally ran over the safety cones, or I can call you a tow truck, which will it be?
We called a tow truck. I never did see bubba drive down my street anymore after that incident. I was worried he’d try to get revenge but nothing ever happened and we moved out a couple years later.