Look, I get it: I’d love to know what’s inside Area 51. It’s one of the last great pieces of modern folklore there is. The secret milita...
Look, I get it: I’d love to know what’s inside Area 51.
It’s one of the last great pieces of modern folklore there is. The secret military test facility, which is located inside the Nellis Military Operations Area in the middle of the Nevada desert, is supposed to contain everything from preserved aliens to secret, hyper-advanced test aircraft. (The last part is actually kind of true, given that the SR-71 Blackbird, F-117 stealth fighter and U-2 spy aircraft were all birthed there.)
I want to know all those secrets, too. But here’s a tip: There are some things that aren’t worth knowing. That’s especially true if you die in the process of trying to find them out.
Now, I’m not particularly sure whether or not the “Storm Area 51” movement is a joke. It certainly seems to be, but whether everyone gets that is up for debate.
The whole thing came out of a Facebook event page which currently has over 1.3 million people who say that they’re going. The full name of the event is technically “Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All of Us.”
One post out of the thousands that have been written reads, “We can move faster than their bullets. Let’s see them aliens.”
Another post identifies a “battle plan” in which drugged up “Kyles” attack the base first followed by rock-throwers and “naruto runner battallions [sic].” (I actually know what that’s supposed to refer to, I think, but you’re really better off not knowing since it’s just as weird and stupid as it seems without the explanation.)
The link to the post is here, although we must warn you the page contains questionable/vulgar content all around.
The creator of the post makes it clear they don’t mean for it to be taken seriously, just in case the Kyles of the world were gearing up to go out to the Nevada desert: “Hello US government, this is a joke, and I do not actually intend to go ahead with this plan,” the poster wrote.
“I just thought it would be funny and get me some thumbsy uppies on the Internet. I’m not responsible if people decide to actually storm area 51.”
But that’s the problem: Not only does our military have to deal with actual threats, it has to deal with dumb jokes like this.
Who knows how many people show up at the meeting place — the “Area 51 Alien Center tourist attraction,” which is a truck stop an hour from the base according to American Military News — on September 20, when the event is supposed to take place, and decide to go ahead and do something stupid?
Whatever the case, the Air Force is prepared.
“[Area 51] is an open training range for the U.S. Air Force, and we would discourage anyone from trying to come into the area where we train American armed forces,” Air Force spokeswoman Laura McAndrews said to The Washington Post.
“The U.S. Air Force always stands ready to protect America and its assets.”
It’s probably not the best idea to joke around about raiding Area 51, considering that the conspiracy-centric site is heavily guarded. However, it’s inspired plenty of memes on social media:
Oh, come on, Nabisco. Really?
Thankfully, even if a million-plus idiots storm Area 51 with Oreos and Naruto runners, our armed forces will be ready.
“That base is so jealously guarded, both in terms of media and in terms of actual physicality. I don’t think the Air Force or any of the other military partners or intelligence community partners that are all working out there at Area 51 are gonna let anybody anywhere near the entrance to Area 51,” Area 51 expert Annie Jacobsen told Fox News.
No, there are no aliens at Area 51. No, a million people won’t breach it. Yes, our military has better things to do.
Please stop trying to get “thumbsy uppies” by claiming otherwise. The pledge may be a joke, but it’s not very funny.
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ReplyDeleteI vote they use deadly force against any and all libturds......
ReplyDeleteGoogle's not going to tell you how to advance in the MIC, but it's military slang.
ReplyDeleteYa, there's no chance, what so ever, of flying underage 'pink triangles'.
ReplyDeleteGreat day to schedule fighter/bomber training with live ammo. Just kidding. Just make some low altitude high speed passes with some really loud "UFOs".
ReplyDeleteOne thing that the people advocating rushing the base, and freeing the Aliens are maybe not considering... if they really do free the Aliens... they may not be able to outrun the Aliens...
ReplyDeleteYou've been watching too many sifi movies there Krazy.....LOL
ReplyDeleteYea, maybe.
ReplyDeleteBut, it also came from something that Stephen Hawking said about how it might not be that great an idea to be trying to reach out to Intelligent life in the stars.
He was afraid that our world could be easily destroyed if we made our presence known.
The real Hawking died back in the 1980's....the one now supposedly Hawking is a replacement. Look at old photos and compare to the idiot they now are using....not even close.....
ReplyDeleteThey are already here and have been here for millennia.......
No they traded for the right to kidnap any and all humans....I think they are morphing into us. Ever see the old Charlie Sheen movie The Arrival? that movie is more true than you can even imagine !!!
ReplyDeleteUnless they have somehow figured out how to exceed the speed of light by a factor of 1000, no aliens have ever visited earth. Our current understanding is that the speed of light is the cosmic speed limit and nothing can exceed it. Them aliens live just too far away, if there be aliens.
ReplyDeleteAlso, notice how the number of UFO sightings (and Big Foot and Loch Nest Monster sightings) have fallen precipitously in the modern age where everyone has a video camera in their pocket at all times? We live in an era where the public by and large does not believe anything unless you got a video, since there are cameras everywhere. Hardly anyone even goes hiking without their phone anymore.
However I signed up to attend because I thought it was funny. I'm not actually going, and I suspect neither is anyone else, including the organizer. He's just trying to sell tee-shirts.
And let's stop feeling so sorry for the Air Force. People make jokes. Do we live in a joke free society now? This one is even politically correct, which is hard to do these days.
If anyone does try and storm area 51 it might be a good thing from a natural section point of view.
I think the Aliens traded technology for unimpeded access to us.
ReplyDeleteLet's just say many lower ranking officers have come home butt hurt, according to their wives' testimony. High rank officers want subordination, and it rolls down hill. I've never heard of the not sees doing such, disinformation comes in all forms.
ReplyDeleteThe reality is, it's a sex cult, pushed by degenerates as a means of extortion and power. Common place among child abusers as well.
Yeah, I'm still trying to get up to speed on that slang...
ReplyDeleteany help would be appreciated... all I'm finding is the Nazis used pink triangles to mark Gays...